In doing the workshop Artist’s Way I’ve come to a rather startling realization. For so many years I’ve always hidden my innerself from others, from myself. Those of us who are taking part in the workshop have to do what Julia Cameron calls morning pages. Bits and pieces of ourselves that have no rhyme, no reason, drabble, thoughts, a tangled web of things we don’t like to think about.
I find these incredibly difficult. I sit in the morning and stare at the pages like they’re a coiled rattler about to strike. If I put down whats in my head, if i face my inner demons than there is noone else to blame. I can’t say oh well I didn’t do this because so and so said it wouldn’t work. I will have to face the things that I’ve allowed to sabotage myself throughout my life. Bad relationships, bad habits, self-destructive tendencies, vices, all those things I’ve tried to bury.
Now I can’t, I have to face them. Looking the pages I find a mass of jumble ideas, of thoughts, and feelings that I’m not happy about. Anger, doubt, fear. All the things that my inner voice, my inner artist, uses to speak to me. They are not the results the are the tools. Facing them is something that’s difficult but to grow as a person and an artist its a nesseccity.
What’s are your inner voices telling you? How are you punishing your inner ‘artits’? take a few minutes today and clear your head. Listen to what you’re telling yourself and I promise you’ll be amazed.
Writing is turning one’s worst moments into money.~ J. P. Donleavy